


It's All Coming Back to Me Now

by WuvWinchesterHugs



Series: Because You Let Me Pick the Music [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester's Soul, M/M, Married Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Post-Episode: s12e07 Rock Never Dies, Sam Winchester's Soul, Soul Bond, Soul Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25338127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: Sam wishes more than anything he could just say he’s fine, that nothing’s wrong. But they went past that point a long time ago. They’re too tangled up in each other now, couldn’t hide from each other even if they wanted to. That’s what being married by the word of God means.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: Because You Let Me Pick the Music [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1026213
Comments: 1
Kudos: 95





	It's All Coming Back to Me Now

**Author's Note:**

> This was largely inspired by an old Fenix21 fic with the same name, but i only take credit for what I've written here.

“Sammy?”

The word startles Sam, who had just been sitting in the war room, twisting his wedding ring.

Ever since they got back from Lucifer’s attack, Sam’s been silently freaking out. What he should really do is go to bed, deal with it in the morning. But he can’t.

“Sammy, talk to me. I can feel you from three doors down. What’s got you so upset?”

Sam wishes more than anything he could just say he’s fine, that nothing’s wrong. But they went past that point a long time ago. They’re too tangled up in each other now, couldn’t hide from each other even if they wanted to. That’s what being married by the word of God means.

Sam sighs, looking at Dean as Dean moves closer, until he’s close enough to grab Sam’s left hand, showing off his ring, while resting his other hand on the back of Sam’s neck, rubbing in slow circles.

“Don’t make me beg. We don’t keep secrets from each other. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

Sam leans into the touch, letting it distract him from the thoughts running through his mind.

“I-I think I know how I did it. ” Sam finally says. “How I held the door open, while Lucifer was trying to close it.”

Dean stops rubbing for a moment, but makes sure Sam’s looking at him when he says. “Sam, you know it wasn’t--”

“I think it was us.”

The interruption succeeds in stopping Dean from whatever he was going to say next, instead asking, “Us?”

Now that he’s started talking, Sam can’t stop. “Our bond, Dean. From when we got married. It has to be. And that means--” then Sam cuts himself off, unable to go on, too freaked out by what that means.

Even Dean doesn’t need Sam to finish for him to know where Sam’s mind is taking that thought, and quickly grabs Sam’s face with both of his hands, looking right into his eyes.

He can see the usual hazel, so beautifully heartbreaking when they’re watered down with tears, like they are now, and deeper, a glow, one that’s only been there since the night the angels fell around them as they were married by the word of God, where Sam’s soul is connected to Dean’s.

But Sam either can’t see what Dean sees, or he’s still too upset, because he starts outright crying, trying to pull away, willing his body and mind to just shut down. Better to be dead than live knowing what he knows.

But before Sam can fall to the ground, Dean grabs him, pulling him towards their bedroom, until they’re both standing in front of the mirror.

Then, Dean grabs Sam’s left hand again, intertwining their left hands together, so their rings are right next to each other.

“Look at us, Sammy.” Dean orders gently. But Sam can’t, won’t. How can he?

“Look.” Dean orders again, and this time Sam complies, albeit hesitantly. Then, Dean turns Sam so he’s facing Dean, and Dean takes their joined hands, placing them on Sam’s chest.

“Feel that?” Dean asks.

Sam does, but, “Dean, I can’t. We have to stop.”

“No, we don’t, actually.” Dean tells him.

Sam can’t believe he has to spell it out. “Dean, this thing between us, our bond, it’s not good. It’s making us into something...wrong. Something that should be hunted.”

“Sammy, sweetheart, stop.” Dean moves in closer, wrapping his arms around Sam’s body, holding on as tightly as he can, not letting go.

“I need you to listen to me, okay? This bond is good.” Sam tries to pull away, from both Dean and what he’s saying, but Dean won’t let him. “No, you’ve been asking for a chick flick moment, now you’re going to get one. This bond is everything good in this world, because it gave me you. I have my little brother back, and now I even have him as my husband. Something that can do all that, can never be anything but good.”

Sam lets the words wash over him, let them cut through the terror and panic in his mind, throwing their connection wide open, until Dean’s taking up every space in his mind, and his heart.

“How can you, even for one second, think about pushing this, pushing us away?” Dean wants to push so desperately, but he knows better. He grabs Sam’s face again, leaning in.

Sam meets Dean’s lips with his own, and it’s like his whole body is on fire, for the few seconds the kiss lasts.

"I need you." Is all Sam says, once they finally come up for air.

Whether it's their bond or because Dean just knows him that well, all Dean says is,

"I know you do. Don't ever think otherwise."

With that, Dean leads him to their shared bed, letting Sam get on first, on his hands and knees.

A few seconds later, Dean's coming up behind him, wrapping Sam up with his whole body, arms and legs wrapping around Sam's limbs.

Through the bond, Dean can feel the lingering remains of Sam's doubt, and is quick to flood the connection with his unconditional love, as he kisses the back of Sam's neck, wrapping himself around him even tighter.

"Stay with me, Sammy. You're not going through this alone. You and me against the world, remember?"

Sam lets the sudden wave of love and support flood into his heart, into his very soul. He lets himself feel it all, and it's not long before he can't even imagine not having this, regardless of if it's good or bad.

"That's right. And don't you ever forget that. That's an order."

Sam smiles at both the order, and the feeling of Dean holding him just a tad tighter, then finally turns around, so Sam's lying on his back, and Dean's right above him, neither of them able to look away.

"I may not know exactly what this means for us…" Sam starts, and when he feels the worry coming from Dean, Sam's quick to soothe it as he reaches out a hand to touch Dean's face.

"But if there's one thing I know, it's that I couldn't even imagine doing it without you."

If Sam thought he'd been slammed with a wave before, that's nothing compared to the wave he's getting from Dean now, who's unable to hold back the way Sam's one statement just made him feel.

Unable to be separated for another second, they kiss.

The kiss turns to taking their clothes off, then turns to grabbing each other everywhere they can reach, and inevitably, it turns to them making love.

They've never called sex anything else, and never will. Because that's the only explanation for how it truly feels when they're together like this, feeling their bodies move in sync as they stare into each other's eyes.

But now that they're married, there's a new part to their love making that's quickly becoming their favorite part.

Sure enough, they see the glow, and quickly, they join their hands together, looking in each other right in the eyes as they say together,

"I love you."

And just like that, what started as a glow turns into a bright light, one that should've blinded them, but it doesn't.

If anything, they've never seen more clearly than in this moment. They can see their actual souls tied together, with a bond that can never be broken, not even by God or Death himself.

In this moment, the second they feel their souls touch, Dean can see everything inside Sam's soul, past and present, just like Sam can see his, but where that would've scared Dean before, now he's never felt safer, knowing Sam truly is the only one who knows everything about him, and the only one who ever will.

Somehow, they manage to come back to reality, and are able to look in each other's eyes again, Sam sees it.

Right behind those candy apple green eyes, is the unmistakable glow, the one Dean was so desperate for Sam to remember was there, and right then and there, Sam swears to himself he'll never forget it again.

"I told you, Sammy." Sam hears from up above, and Sam brings his focus back.

"We can't not be together. Our souls won't let us, and more than that, I don't want to. So I don't want to hear another word about you thinking this is wrong, or bad. You understand?"

And maybe it's just because the bond's still wide open, or maybe they're still in the afterglow of the soul touching they just partook in, or maybe because Sam's finally letting himself accept it, all he does is kiss Dean, and tell him,

"Never again."


End file.
